Cool and Rainy

This week has been a little crazy. I spent nearly all of Monday night doing Wesley stuff, Tuesday I did yard work for elderly members of MUMC for Wesley, and yesterday was a typical Wednesday, which means it was insane and packed. So, now it's Thursday, tomorrow I have a paper and an oral final exam, and I'm not really ready for either. I have very little desire to prepare for the test and even less to write the paper, which is very bad since tomorrow is the due date for both.

There are two good things in this whole lack-of-motivation problem. One is that it is cold and rainy outside. If I had wanted to do my homework yesterday, it wouldn't have happened. Yesterday was gorgeous: temperatures in the low eighties, bright and sunny, but with a cool wind to keep people from sweating too much. I spent the free 20 minutes between classes and work and stuff laying on the quad taking in the sunshine and thanking God for spring. If I'd had more time, I just would have spent it sitting in the sunlight, not accomplishing anything.

The other good thing is that it gives me a reason to write here, in my Blog. Since I don't want to write my paper, I'm writing here. It's quite lovely, actually.

I'm getting really tired of being simultaneously insanely busy and in a holding pattern. I'm still waiting to hear about HDA and DA stuff for next fall, waiting for Wesley elections, waiting to go home and have a break, and waiting to go to ASP. At the same time, I'm cramped for time on writing this paper, doing a presentation, and taking an oral final, plus getting ready for finals week. On top of that, I need to do laundry, I have an interview to sit in on this afternoon, and I really just want to sleep. Oh, well, that's life, I guess.

I give up, I can't procrastinate anymore. I have to go actually WRITE my paper. How sad.

The "F" Word

That's right I'm saying it. I am a feminist. I think that women are equal to men, and therefore deserve equal opportunities and equal treatment. After all, how does having a different anatomy make us any less than men? Is a vagina inherently less valuable than a penis? I don't think so.

Abuse of women should never be tolerated. Women should not be forced to wear veils or burqas. Women do not "belong" to men; we are not property. We will fight for equal treatment and challenge those who hurt, rape, or mutilate us. I don't think that abortion is right, but I also don't think that men should be able to make laws that force women to carry a baby and give birth if that is not their desire.

That said, I am not a man-hater or lesbian. I'm not against the institution of marriage, and I don't think that men are inherently evil. There is nothing wrong with women who choose to stay at home, and I support women who choose to have children and stay home to take care of them. I have been known to quote the slogan, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle", but that's not entirely true. I think that marriages of equal partnership, in which both parties share power and support one another are great. However, marriage is not necessary for everyone. A woman does not need to be attached to a man in order to have value. Women can survive single or married, it should be a choice that each woman makes for herself.

I have been told lately that I am "too picky" when it comes to guys. Perhaps this is the case. But I have reasons. After all, I don't really see the point in dating anyone that I wouldn't consider marrying, since that is the eventual goal I have for romance in my life. I don't feel that getting married is absolutely necessary, so I am not going to settle. Why should I? I can't commit my life to someone that I don't respect, admire, and love. If I never find that person, then I'll never get married. It's not that I think I'm too good for the guys I know, it's just that few to none of them possess the characteristics that I need. I need a guy who is a Christian with a really strong faith and a good sense of humor who is kind, gentle, strong, intellegent, understanding, articulate, and patient. It wouldn't hurt if he were liberal-leaning and attractive, too. I don't think that I am too picky, I am just not going to change my standards just to get a guy. If I never find the right guy, then I will be single forever. I can handle that. Which, I suppose, is probably one more reason that I will never end up married.

I used the "F" word: feminism. I am a feminist, but not, as Seinfeld would say, a "Femi-Nazi". I don't burn bras, but I fight the against patriarchy in our society. Sorry if that offends you, but that's the way I am.

Stolen Quiz

{x} what's your full name? Lauren
{x} what are your nicknames? Lee, Double L, Skippy, Paintbrush
{x} how old are you? 19
{x} when is your birthday? 9-19
{x} how tall are you? 5'8" (an ogre!)
{x} what color are your eyes? Green most of the time (mood eyes...)
{x} where were you born? Ohio
{x} where do you live now? Ada, Ohio, or Columbia, Missouri when I'm at school
{x} piercings? no
{x} tattoos? nope
{x} do you get along with your parents? most definitely
{x} can you do anything freakish with your body? I can wiggle my ears!
{x} when is your bedtime? That is entirely dependent on circumstances.
{x} what size shoe are you? 9.5 or 10
{x} have you ever been arrested? of course not
{x} who's your role model? my sister and Mother Theresa
{x} what is the best thing you have done? Any time I've ever helped someone else.
{x} what type of shampoo/conditioner do you use? Finesse (because Vidal Sassoon went out of business)
{x} do you have any pets? sadly, no. If it were up to me, I'd have a dog.
{x} do you have any siblings? Tina, 23
{x} nationalities? German/British/who knows what else?
{x} what is your astrological sign? Virgo

Y O U R P R E F E R E N C E S
(x) serious or be funny? funny
{x} coke or pepsi? Pepsi
{x} whole or skim milk? skim
{x} single or taken? Our Lady of Perpetual Singlehood
{x} simple or complicated? simple
{x} law or anarchy? law, I guess...
{x} flowers or angels? Angels
{x} grey or gray? Gray (ask Crayola)
{x} read or write? both, but most of all write
{x} color or black-and-white photos? color
{x} sunrise or sunset? sunset (I don't want to be awake for sunrise)
{x} m&m's or skittles? skittles
{x} rap or rock? rock
{x} stay up late or wake up late? both!
{x} tv or radio? TV
{x} is it pop or soda? POP!
{x} eat an apple or an orange? apple
{x} what came first the chicken or the egg? chicken
{x} dead or alive? alive
{x} tall members of the opposite sex or short? Tall.
{x} emerald or ruby? Ruby
{x} left or right? Right
{x} ten acquaintances or one best friend? How is this an either/or question? Both!
{x} high or drunk? neither.
{x} green beans or carrots? green beans
{x} low fat or fat free? that really depends on what it tastes like
{x} what is your biggest fear in the world? Being alone forever
{x} kids or no kids? I like kids...but I'm not sure I want any of my own... we'll have to see!
{x} cat or dog? dog
{x} mustard or ketchup? Both.
{x} hard cover books or soft cover books? soft cover, because they're easier to store/carry
{x} newspaper or magazine? magazine
{x} sandals or sneakers? sneakers
{x} wonder or amazement? wonder
{x} red car or white car? red (who can keep the white one clean?)
{x} happy and poor or sad and rich? happy and poor
{x} singing or dancing? singing
{x} hugging or kissing? hugging
{x} purple or green? green
{x} a year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? friendship (what do I know about sex?)
{x} mcdonalds or burger king? McDonalds
{x} winter/summer/fall/spring? Fall
{x} gloves or mittens? mittens
{x} chicken or fish? fish, if it's fresh, chicken if it's not

Y O U R F A V O R I T E
{x} number? 13
{x} holiday: Christmas
{x} radio station? WONB (great DJs... ;))
{x} place? anywhere where I see people I care about
{x} flower? lilacs (or does that count as a bush instead?)
{x} scent? freshly baked cookies, probably
{x} if you could be anywhere, where would you be? southern France
{x} what would you be doing there? walking through the fields of lavender toward the beach

C U R R E N T S
{x} current clothes: jeans and a Broncos shirt
{x} current mood: content (if a little bored/hungry)
{x} current taste: sweet
{x} current annoyance: my own restlessness
{x} current smell: Moonlight Path (because I just put it on)
{x} current thing you ought to be doing: homework or reading for ASP
{x} current worry: nervousness for finals and ASP, getting ready for next fall
{x} current sound: ESPN (NFL Draft!!!)
{x} current fav food: Mexican or Indian
{x} current fav shoes: the ancient Addidas sneakers on my feet
{x} current fav TV show: SportsCenter
{x} current fav movie: The Importance of Being Earnest or LOTR Trilogy

L A S T P E R S O N
{x} you touched? probably KJ when I woke her up
{x} you talked to? Mom
{x} you hugged? Stef
{x} you instant messaged? Alex
{x} you kissed? Rick (Peruvian greeting)
{x} you yelled at? KJ, to wake her up
{x} you laughed with? Stef

H A V E Y O U / A R E Y O U / D O Y O U
{x} considered a life of crime? nah, I can't lie and I'm clumsy... it just wouldn't work
{x} considered being a jigalo? nope
{x} split personalities? no
{x} schizophrenic? negative
{x} obsessive? not really
{x} obsessive compulsive? not that I know of
{x} panic? only under EXTREME stress... so not frequently
{x} anxiety? not a whole lot
{x} depressed? not in the last 5 years
{x} dream of mutilated bodies? No
{x} understanding? I think so...
{x} open-minded? About most things
{x} insecure? a little
{x} interesting? doubt it
{x} friendly? yup
{x} smart? I wish
{x} moody? nah, not particularly
{x} independent? mostly
{x} hard working? when I care about the work
{x} organized? in most areas
{x} healthy? reasonably so
{x} difficult? generally not
{x} attractive? not really
{x} bored easily? not bored, but (Oooh, shiny!!!) easily distracted
{x} responsible? usually
{x} talkative? too much so, probably
{x} different? yup
{x} lonely? on occasion
{x} color your hair? I have before, but only slight hightlights... it's really too much work
{x} have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I have had a few at times, but not currently and not on the horizon that I can see.
{x} ever get off the computer? frequently

H A V E Y O U E V E R
{x} fallen for your best friend? no
{x} made out with JUST a friend? yes
{x} been rejected? a couple times
{x} been in love? not "in love", no
{x} used someone? Not to my knowledge... (and if I did I it was unintentional)
{x} done something you regret? Sometimes I'm less than pleased with my actions, but I wouldn't change them and I move on pretty quickly.

Updates...

OK, quick segments about the past few days:

MU Day of Silence: talk about a powerful experience. I took part in MU Day of Silence (not speaking on Thursday until the 5:00 p.m. Breaking the Silence Rally) in order to fight discrimination of all kinds, and to honor those who have had their voices taken away because of differences in gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, or opinion. I just hope that my silence made a statement. After all, we're all in this humanity thing together: if any group of people is taken out of it, there's a hole in our species.

This week marked the five year commemoration of the Columbine School Shootings. I still can't believe that high school students would bring weapons to school and violently and hatefully attack their fellow students. Yeah, being a teenager sucks, but killing people obviously isn't the answer. Zach and I watched Bowling for Columbine in honor of the occasion. It's a great movie that doesn't attempt to give answers, only to ask reasonable questions. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. (Unless you're a die-hard member of the NRA, then you might not like it so much...)

Today is a gross, rainy day. It makes me a little sad to look outside and see everything all droopy and gray. But, on the plus side, it's NFL Draft day. I'm glad to see that Eli Manning made first pick (I really appreciate a guy who has the guts to follow in his father's footsteps). Not to mention that I'm excited to see what Shanahan has up his sleeves for the Broncos. I can't wait for football season!

Theological Thoughts

Time to address an interesting theological issue and clarify something about my previous blog: I do not believe in predestination. Unlike some conservative Christians, I do not believe that God has one plan for our lives. I don't think that he puts a stamp on us when we are born that determines our home for eternity...I don't think he stamps our backsides with "Saved" or "Damned" before plopping us down on this planet. I can't imagine God plotting out our lives ahead of us, then zapping us with lightning bolts to get us to do what He chooses and go where He wants.

With that said, I now enter the part where the answers get shady. Do I think that God wants the best for us? Yes. But when bad things happen, is it because that is God's will? No. I think that mankind has freedom: we can choose our actions and our lifestyles. When humans do bad things, that is when bad things happen. What about natural disasters, diseases, plagues? I don't know. I don't believe that God sends these things to punish us. I really don't know the answer, though. I guess I'll chalk that one up to questions that I someday want God to answer.

So, what about this life plan thing? I think that most of the time, we should just live our lives in the best way we know how. We should pray for help and discernment, but I think usually God's answer is, "Figure it out for yourself, that's what I gave you free will for!" Most of us don't have transformation experiences, and God doesn't usually just pop down from heaven and tell us directly what to do. There aren't very many of us who get burning-bush-mail or instant-angel-messages. In general, I think we are supposed to read Scripture, pray, and behave according to what we think is best.

My best guess on the whole predestination thing is this: God is outside time. I don't believe he determines what we will do, nor do I think he alters things in ways that interfere with our free will. Instead, I think He can see our whole lives, everything ahead of us and behind us, and he knows what we will choose. (That whole omniscent, omnipresent thing again...) We have free will, but God is watching us all along the way.

Now, for all of you who are sick of this theology, not to worry. I'll write later regarding MU Day of Silence, the weather, and life in general...plus perhaps some observations on the world. Until then, adios!

Called...

There is something that I feel the need to finally open up about. I'm amazed that I haven't explained it here before. Perhaps I was scared, or maybe just not sure how to put it into words. Regardless, it's about time that I explained myself: Here is the story of how I got my call to the ministry, and what's going on now. So, here goes...

Near the end of Spring Semester last year, I was sitting in Bible Study at Wesley and a thought popped into my head at random, something along the lines of "You could be a minister." This, I must say, is not normal for me. Random ideas about my future don't just pop into my head on a daily basis. However, it didn't seem that remarkable, so I just pushed the idea to the back of my mind.

I didn't give the thought any more contemplation until I was sitting in the back of a van one night while I was at ASP (Appalachia Service Project). As I sat there in the dark, the thought occurred to me again. This time, since it was a repeating idea, I didn't shove it to the back of my mind immediately. I mentioned it to my friend Rachel and we agreed to both pray about it.

When I returned to Mizzou, I thought more and more about those ideas, and devoted a lot of time in prayer to trying to figure out what it was about. The more I thought about it, the more I saw the ways God had molded my life along the way. I could see his hands shaping my life, like the image of the potter in Jeremiah 18:1-4. A memory dredged up from when I was about 5: my parents had tucked me in and I was supposed to be sleeping, but instead I pulled out my book of Bible stories and started a church service for my stuffed animals, complete with hymns, a reading, and a sermon. I hadn't thought about it in years, but all of a sudden it was a clear memory in my mind. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed as though I was being called in some way. I preached at the Wesley on Wheels and I felt completely at home, like what I was doing was right, exactly what I should be doing. However, I wanted more security, more persuasion that it was, in fact, what God wanted, so I still held off.

I continued to pray and think about it, and finally I got incredibly fed up. I felt incredibly restless one day, so I wandered over to the small chapel at MUMC, lay down on the floor, said a prayer begging for clarity, and meditated. As I lay there with the light of the setting sun pouring in the window at me, everything seemed to clear up and suddenly I felt an amazing sense of peace. It was as though opening myself up to God's will and saying, "Yes, I'll do whatever you want me to do," and he was saying, "Now you are ready, this is what I have for you."

I finally felt secure enough in my call to talk to someone, so I sought out Rev. Mike, the Wesley Campus Minister. After talking to Mike, I felt more comfortable with the idea. I waited until Thanksgiving break to tell my parents about my experience. I wasn't sure how telling them would go, but it ended up being one of the most reassuring experiences possible. When I was finished outlining what had happened and what I was going to do, my dad said, "Yeah, I thought so." This confused me, so he explained that this information had come to him in meditation a few months earlier. It was incredibly comforting to have my parents support and the knowledge that I wasn't the only one experiencing God's call.

Now I am working my way through the Ministry Inquiry Process to get ordination in the United Methodist Church. It's a series of workbooks, interviews, conversations, and tests that pave the road to becoming a pastor. So, now I'm navigating that path. I'm going to get my college degree in Interdisciplinary Studies (combining History, Sociology, and Religious Studies), then go to Seminary and, hopefully, get Ordained as an Elder.

"So, now you know the rest of the story." I hope that this explains some things about my decisions and life. If you've got any questions or comments, encouragements, or even complaints that women shouldn't be ministers, leave them. Now that I've unburdened myself, I'm taking the rest of the night off.

Stress and Sadness

I have been exiled from my computer by a sleeping roommate, but there are several thoughts that I need to get out, so I'm actually USING the dorm computer lab. Scary.

This hasn't been the best of days, I woke up a little grumpy and then faced a whole lot of people with bad news. Nothing is really going on in my life, but the lives of everyone around me seem to be falling apart. I hate that. I would rather have my life collapsing in shambles around my ears than to be forced to watch the people I care about suffer. I have seen/heard 3 people I care deeply about crying today, and it made me very sad. I had an hour-long conversation with someone that I love, and that person was extremely, EXTREMELY depressed and upset about life in general and I very nearly ended up in tears myself. Why are people so sad?

I can't wait for this semester to be over. I just want classes to be done. I will miss my Mizzou friends terribly over the summer, but I really need a break from academia and the stress of stuff here. I don't feel like I've had a break since Christmas, since I went to Peru for Spring Break. I am excited for my eleven days of summer (that's how long I have between finals and ASP) and excited to see all of the people in Ada that I haven't seen since January. I'm incredibly psyched for ASP, though. It's going to be an amazing summer. I got the staff manual in the mail today, and it's definitely a "Fatty McFat, Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four"... which means a lot of work for me, but since it's for ASP it's worth it.

I want to not be stressed anymore. I want to be able to fix my friends' problems so that they are no longer upset. I wish I could make all of that happen, but I have no control. And for the moment I feel completely helpless, like I can't solve anything or improve life in any way, that I just have to watch the car wreck with no way of preventing it or helping those involved. All the lives around me seem to be spinning out of control, and I'm stuck in the center, calmly watching them spin farther and farther away from me, on collision courses. I wish I could lasso them and pull them back toward me, away from danger, but I can't. And I wouldn't really be any good at it anyway. I guess I have to do the only thing I can: pray and put all of them in God's hands. He's the only one with long enough rope for an adequate lasso anyway. So, I'm going to handle it in my way: go say a prayer and get some sleep so that if the opportunity to make a difference arises, I won't be too tired to help out.

Fabulous Friday

It's a gorgeous, wonderful, magnificent Friday here in Missouri. Awesome. It's warm and sunny, but not too hot. I love it.

I changed my schedule today, and I'm really looking forward to it. I managed to add Greek, take in a writing intensive class in my major (well, one of the components anyway), and knock out several general education requirements. The unfortunate fact is that I will be in class at 9, 10, 11, 1, and 2 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Plus, I'll have a 9 a.m. class on Tuesday and Thursday.

Tonight will be a fun five hour desk shift... joy, joy. So I'm going to go enjoy my lovely free time before I get chained to the desk.

Campus Evangelists and Two-Toed Sloths

I should be doing homework again. But I have things I need to say.

First, I wish to address the pentacostal evangelists who invade our campus and yell at us. For all of you who don't know: Not all Christians are like that. Not all of us think dancing and premarital kissing are wrong. Not all of us feel that yelling at people is the way to change their minds. Not all of us believe that women should be pregnant, barefoot, and in a kitchen. I don't fall into any of those categories, and I'm a Christian. So, please, don't let those people turn your heart.

Also, I had ice cream for the first time tonight since I gave it (among other things) up for Lent. It was amazing. I had forgotten just how much I love ice cream. How amazingly cold, sweet, and thick it is. Ooooh.... I just wanted to curl up into a ball and sit and bask in the iced creaminess. Yum. Yum, yum. This is why I need to diet and work out more. I love ice cream too much. It's an unhealthy relationship.

Oh, and I've decided that I'm going to make a list of things that I would choose to be if I weren't a human. My choice of the day: a sloth. (The animal) Why? 1) They sleep all the time. We're talking sleeping 23 hours a day. That would be heavenly. 2) They move REALLY slowly. It would take them 20 minutes to scratch an itch. Imagine never having to rush anywhere. Talk about cool. 3) They hang out in the rainforest. That's right, the chill in the trees, where it is warm, with the soothing sounds of birds and rain all around them all the time. Neat atmosphere. 4) They only have 2 and 3 toes. Imagine how much easier it would be to learn to count if you only had to learn to count to 4 or 6 because that's how many toes you had? 5) They never fight, but they have HUGE claws. It's like, "Do you want to mess with me? No." Even though they'd never move fast enough to be a threat. It's about as successful as me trying to threaten people. So, my non-human goal for the day is to be a sloth. Three cheers for sloths!

Anyway, I really have to go do homework now, the essays of Michel de Montaigne are calling my name.

Stupid People Tick Me Off

Welcome to another lovely Thursday morning at the desk.

Why do people do stupid, harmful things? Some idiot decided to drag dead lobster around the dorm, so everything has a terrible, rancid, dead animal smell. The east staircase is the worst... it is completely disgusting! Who would think to spread dead animal guts inside a building? Apparently the same dorm-terrorists struck Twainer, too, so the fifth and sixth floors there smell disgusting. Immature people who do stupid things tick me off.

And speaking of immature people doing stupid things, check out the story about the e-mail sent within one of the MU sororities telling its members to lie about their health history when giving blood so that their sorority could win the blood drive competition. The purpose of the blood drive is to save lives, NOT to win a stupid competition. That's the second time this year that a single member of a sorority has done something that makes the entire Greek community, and the university as a whole, look really bad. I know that the whole Greek community isn't like that. I know that most MU students aren't like that. However, this is yet another example of stupid people doing things that harm the rest of us. Particularly since the story was picked up by CNN and now makes our university look bad to everyone out there.

On the happier side of life, the weather is beautiful and the flowers are blooming all over campus. Not even just the nasty, stinky flowers, either. The good-smelling flowers are also blooming, and green leaves are appearing on the trees again. I love the spring. It's as though everything around me is coming to life. I almost expect moss to start growing right here on the front desk. I love sniffing the freshly-cut grass on the way to class. I love feeling the sunlight on my cheeks and the breeze playing with my hair. It makes me want to be seven all over again, to go play tag in the grass and to run around for no reason, just to be outside and free.

And one more random aside, I now have the capability to receive comments on my blog. After all of you Open Diary users have nagged me for months to get comment capability, I finally go it. So, use it! And thanks to the one person who has left me a comment. Hooray for feedback!

Get out there and enjoy this beautiful day, folks! I know that's what I'm going to do once I've survived all the crap I have to do today...

Exes and Musicals...What a Day!

I have returned... and the day has only gotten more exciting, in good and bad ways.

First off, the M&M meeting was at CCH. While we were having our M&M meeting, who should show up but my ex and his friend who I have a very interesting relationship with. It was awkward, and I kept getting distracted from our group discussion because of their loud antics. My ex even called me from a few rooms away during our meeting. That was extremely disruptive. But I managed to sneak out of the house without talking to either one of them...I don't think they noticed my absence until I was fully away from the compound. I felt rather like a spy who had been identified by two of the soldiers at the base that I was spying on. Two run-ins in a week... I must be cursed. I'm going to have to face him sooner or later, but I'm dreading it.

This evening Sarah and I went to see Singin' in the Rain performed live at Jesse Hall. It was AWESOME! The two of us were musically inspired, and proceeded to run across the quad to the columns, where we dropped everything and danced around for five minutes like incredible dorks before walking and singing our way back to the dorm. It was hilarious and spectacular. I want to perform in musicals when I grow up. Among other things.

So, new songs for the day: "Good Morning" and "Singin' in the Rain" from "Singin' in the Rain"

Mmmm...Easter Candy

It hasn't been quite a week but, as Zach tells me, I need to update the blog. So, here it is.

I spent the weekend in Baltimore, visiting my sister, which was awesome. We went hiking and ate out in Annapolis on Saturday, just having some sister time and great conversations. Then, on Sunday, we went to the Easter service at my sister's church, complete with the choir cantata which my sister directed. After that we got ready for all of the PCF people to come over for dinner. Dinner was a fabulous buffet of ham, potatoes, stuffing, side dishes, and desserts. Almost thirty people fit in my sister's tiny studio apartment, but the conversations were fun and I had a blast. Seeing all of those sweet, Christian boys and all of those friendly Christians fellowshipping together gave me a lot of hope.

I flew back early Monday morning (I had to get up at 4 a.m. central time) caught lunch with Sarah, and got to my afternoon classes. Then I did dinner out with Sarah and KJ, which was awesome! I saw the first half of the Jazz concert at Stotler, then made it just in time for Bible study, which ended up being 2 hours of conversation with Andy, since ho one else showed up. Then I went back to the lovely FARCland and crashed.

This morning I met with one of my professors to catch up on the stuff I missed. Then I went to see two advisors, one in A&S, the other in Classics. It turns out that since I want to take Greek, I have to rearrange my schedule for fall semester...GRR. I'm almost done at work, then Ive got to head to an M&M project meeting, then more work, then singing for the old people at Lenoir, then dinner before Singin in the Rain tonight.

Great excitements of the day: 1) Getting an e-mail from an ASP CD for the summer from Missouri, e-mailing to offer help and answers to my questions. It's got me SO excited for the summer and makes me feel so mcuh less nervous. 2) I got an e-mail from someone who is on the Wesley e-mail list but doesn't come because she's too busy. She e-mailed to tell me that she appreciates my weekly devotionals, and it was SO exciting to know that people actually read what I write.

I also have one more addition to the "What is Lauren" list. I have been informed by Caleb that I am a cartoon. I'm not sure what this is referring to, or why I am a cartoon. I'm not even sure whether it is good or bad. I don't think I like this description as well as I like that of a puppy, but I'm not sure. At least people usually like cartoons, right?

Songs for the day: Anything by The Donnas and College Kids by Relient K

Anyway, I'm off to the insanity of the day. But I wish you all a wonderful Monday.

Random Rants

I should be reading or doing something remotely connected with my classes. This, however, is a moot point because I have way too much to yack about and get off of my chest. So, here goes:

First off, last night I studied with the wombat (very helpful) and took a walk with Sarah (very relaxing), then I was going to study the stuff out of my Sociology book for the test. However, I was visited by a male friend of mine, who was supposed to be studying as well. He was, I might add, slightly intoxicated. Thus, very little studying got done, and more than anything my friend chattered on and on like a monkey in a tree, throwing in the occasional come-on or double entendre. Needless to say it was an interesting experience. And I found out later that several of my friends were looking out their window and calling us "cute". Oh, dear.

Then tonight when I was walking around campus with Sarah, I had a run in with an ex. An ex that I have been mostly avoiding since we broke up. An ex that I'm not sure how to deal with. Who was with this ex? An acquaintance of mine whose roommate I have an interesting relationship with, which he knows the basics of. And it was awkward. But I didn't allow myself to seem thrown off by the experience, letting off a witty comment and promising to call him. Which I will. Sometime. Maybe soon, if I get up enough guts. Further updates on this soon.

And now, a necessary message: CONGRATULATIONS! One of my dear friends (you know who you are) had her first orgasm tonight, and I'm very happy for her. Needless to say, she was grinning and glowing. One small step for a man, one giant leap for my buddy!

On scholastic things, I am peeved. I wrote a paper for a class. I checked my idea with the TA, I had two different friends edit the paper, and I turned it in early. Yet, I did not do as well as I wanted or expected. In addition, someone else I know in the class procrastinated, didn't check their idea, didn't know what they were doing, and did considerably better than I did. I am less than happy. I need to go see my TA about this. We might go rounds. If there's one thing I don't tolerate well, it's bad grades. However, I'm doing OK in at least 3 of my other classes, so it should be fine.

I also got an e-mail from the folks at my home church, and they have chosen a day for me to present to them about my Peru trip. I have to come up with a 40-minute presentation. I mean, I'm long winded and talk a lot, but I can't talk in a monologue presentation for 40 MINUTES! I can barely make 8 minutes for in-class presentations. This is going to be scary. VERY scary. YIKES! Good thing I don't have to do it for another month.

So, I was talking with a friend of mine today, and we were discussing kids. We both aren't sure that conditions will ever be right for us to be able to have kids, what with romance being so crazy, plus school and career balances. I admire my parents so much more after thinking about this, simply because it's SO complicated and so much responsibility. I'm not sure I'll ever be up to it.

Oh, and there are two new concepts about me. One: I am a puppy. I'm a crazy, energetic, slightly absentminded and clumsy creature. I'm fiercely loyal and very affectionate when I like people, but I bark and even bite when frightened or uncomfortable. And when I see one of those people I like, I get really excited and jump on them (hugging of course) immediately. If I had a tail, my whole back end would wag most of the time. The second one is more complicated. It involves me becoming a minister. If I do, in fact, become a minister, and if I get married, whoever I marry will have to follow me everywhere. The Methodist church is like a spinning carnival ride. The people at the center move the bishops around (the big arms rotating) and the bishops in turn shift the ministers around (the cars themselves being spun on the arms). Thus, I am a carnival ride car. Hooray for me.

Anyway, I'm going to go try to do something scholastically stimulating. Or sleep. Mmm... sleep. Either way, I've written enough (and if you're still reading at this point you must be very caring, so thanks!) so I'll catch ya'll on the flip side.

Almost Easter...

OK, so I'm a little late on updating the blog. I apologize. I've been busy. (No, not like that) Anyway, the groove is as follows:

Last week I spent most of my time trying to catch up on reading and sleeping after being out of the country for nine days. I managed to survive my Geology test and not forget anything important over the course of the week.

The weekend was pretty typical. I worked A shift, so I spent my Friday night at the desk. It wasn't bad, though, because KJ, Sarah, the Wombat, and Jen all came to chill with me briefly while I was there. Saturday morning I spent most of my shift studying and reading, so I felt very accomplished by the time I got off. Saturday afternoon was all about finishing the Wesley newsletter and catching up with my family through numerous phone calls. Sarah and I decided to take ourselves out on a date on Saturday night, so we went out for dinner, then shopped at Famous Barr for a bit before grabbing KJ and heading to the movies. Yeah, I'll admit it, I saw The Prince and Me, a girly chick flick, and loved it. But it was extremely fun.

Sunday was actually the most eventful day of the weekend. Palm Sunday services were adorable with all sorts of munchkins racing down the aisles with palm branches. Then I returned home to try to do homework, only to recieve a call from my sister. She decided to arrange for me to go to BALTIMORE to visit her for Easter. My parents even agreed to help pay for the plane fare. So I get to spend the holiday with my SISTER!!!! Needless to say, I'm PSYCHED BEYOND BELIEF!!! Anyway, after that was Wesley and I got to dye Easter eggs. Then I came back and knocked off two papers and did the whole SCAM thing. After that I went on an extremely looooong walk with Marcus, then came back and crammed for my RS test for another two hours. And somehow in the course of that I got a (date???) for Thursday. So I didn't get to bed until 2-ish.

This morning I slightly fouled up my RS test, then had my lovely 5 classes of the day. Mmm... fun, yes... But I did get a postcard from ASP, which cheered me up. And it's a beautiful day outside. Now I get to try to get things done while daydreaming about frisbee and pizza. Good thing there are only 23 days of classes left...

To Peru and Back

Wow, it's been a long time. But I have an excuse. I was out of the country. No, really, I was. So, let me catch you up:

I went to Peru for Spring Break with the whole cult crew (no, not really, long story). It was AWESOME! We stayed with a really cool family there who made us feel as though we belonged despite the fact that we didn't look the same and many of us didn't speak their language. The work was really good, we built walls and did a ton of painting. We also got to worship at a Peruvian methodist church, where the congregation was so nice and Christlike that I was inspired. In addition, we got to see Incan ruins, haggle at a market, visit a zoo, tour a monastery, and see many parts of the city, from the coast to the Andes Mountains.

I got back in the wee hours of Monday morning, then struggled through a busy and fast week of classes. I had a test and two books to read, plus I wanted to catch up with all of my friends. I played some frisbee on the Quad with Marcus, Chris, and Zach, had pizza night and lunch of fun with the girls, got a haircut with Audrey and Ashley, and generally had a fun time. I'm also rushing like mad to get ready for the two tests I have next week and write the 2 papers I have due on Monday. Ergh.

So, it's Friday night and I'm working at the desk. Several of my friends have been kind enough to come and chill with me, though, so it isn't so bad. Sarah came down and visited before her boy showed up, Kristen played Jenga with me before heading off to a gathering, the wombat took me on at Battleship, and Jen and I chilled and talked for a while as well. I even beat Fishy for the first time... GO ME!

Tomorrow morning I have to do that whole studying thing... get ready for my RS test, write my Humanities paper, maybe even write my Sociology paper. Then I have to go create the Wesley newsletter. But after that it's a night out at the movies with the girls, which will make the earlier crap worthwhile.

I have started making a list of all of the things I want to do before I die. They're like a mix between goals and dreams. The list is pretty short at this point, lots of travel and some things I want to accomplish. It's definitely still a work in process... I'm sure some of the things will be changed and more will be added. If anyone has any ideas, you know how to let me know.

Well, I think that about does it for tonight, but I'll write more soon... not another 2.5 week break, I promise!