Right. Well, that which was possible is now over. And I really don't mind. I mean, it would have been nice if something had happened, but I'm OK that it didn't. Because, of all the possible outcomes, this is close to the best that could have happened. And I must say, I'm impressed by the other person involved. He was very mature about everything and I don't feel hurt about any of it, just a little relieved that the whole thing is finally out in the open and not just crazy speculation anymore. And I'm a little glad that the person who acted as a catalyst for this took action, simply because now the ambiguity and confusion are gone.
The only problem with the end of this, is that now there is no real hope on the horizon for dealing with the problem I mentioned at the end of my entry earlier today (or was that yesterday, since it's after midnight?) I just have the distinct feeling that the whole romantic/relationship/opposite sex thing in me is broken. And that I might end up single forever. And it's not as though I need a guy to have self worth or to validate my existence. (That would just be really sad) I'm just scared that I'm not capable of being loved. That there's something about me that's driving people away.
So, one complication down, several to go. But right now it's time to turn all of that craziness over to God and get some sleep. That is, if I can fall asleep with the chainsaw in the room...
No comments:
Post a Comment