Freedom to be Adventurous

I got to hang out with KJ this evening, and it was awesome. She invited me on a walk, and pretty soon we were talking about guys and careers and families and the future. We both agree that we never want to settle. Not that we don't ever want to "settle down", but we don't ever want to just take what we can get and live with it. We both want to stretch, to do the exciting things, to go the exciting places, to marry if and only if we find a love worth marrying for. We have big dreams of seeing the world, doing things for ourselves before we settle down, if we ever do.

Because we were feeling so adventurous, we went out and did a little exploring. I showed KJ a really cool place to hide out and study, then she went off to write her French paper. I, on the other hand, am going to go to bed and finally catch up on my rest. Hooray for adventures. Hooray for sleep.

Happy

Ashley has informed me that my blog sounds depressed. I am not, in fact, depressed. So I'm going to try to make this the happiest entry EVER. Maybe that's a stretch, but I have lots of happy things to say, so we'll see how this works out.

First off, I saw a "Saved" at Ragtag last night with Ashley, Audrey, and Sheena. It is HILARIOUS! It is a satire on religious fanatics, and it is amazing. It has some awesome lines. For instance,

P: "When Jesus closes a door He opens a window."
M: "Yeah, so you can jump out of it!"

C: "There's only one reason good Christian girls come downtown to the Planned Parenthood."
R: "She's planting a pipe bomb?"
C: "OK, two reasons."

H: (throws Bible at M) "I am FILLED with Christ's love!"
M: (hands Bible back) "This is not a weapon, you idiot."

Anyway, I REALLY recommend that you see it. Check it out: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332375/

As for the rest of life, things have taken a sudden turn for the better. I've started meeting with Rev. Sarah again, and I love it. She's really understanding and the two of us see eye to eye on a lot of things, which makes it a great chance to talk with somebody who knows what I'm going through. I survived the Greek test and think I did reasonably well, and I think I'm going to get through this History paper after all. I also found out today that I'm probably getting a job that I really wanted (sort of a promotion, but also sort of a different job...) and I'm EXTREMELY excited about it.

I'm also making a list of books that I want to read when I get time to read heavy things again. I may not get to them until Thanksgiving, or even Christmas, but I really want to read them. Among the authors are Kirkegaard, Borg, C.S. Lewis, Bonhoffer, Geisler and Turk, Roy, and Ensler. I'm really looking forward to it. In the meantime, I'm getting to read some really cool lighter stuff, so it's all good.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, which will put me over the hump. Then I'll be my way downhill into the weekend, which means the Mizzou vs. Colorado football game (Claw Ralphie to pieces, Truman!), the dinner at Midway, and Dave Chappelle (live, here at Mizzou, OH YEAH!). I'm really looking forward to all of that, plus tomorrow I get to go to bed EARLY! I must really be an old woman to be looking forward to sleep, but I don't care. It's going to be awesome. And now, to start the awesomeness off right, I'm going to go snuggle into my newly-laundered sheets and give Howard another wedgie. I love my life!

Dorks

I went to see Napoleon Dynamite this evening, and I would really like to have my two hours back. I had fun with the people I went with, and dinner beforehand at the Berg was fun, but the movie was not my favorite. I actually found it rather offensive. The whole thing was a giant ruse to make fun of high school dorks. I was a high school dork, and I didn't find most of the jokes very funny. Perhaps I just don't have a good sense of humor, but the whole thing seemed awfully rude to me. Granted, the popular kids were almost as bad as the dorks, but I just didn't think it was very funny. I wouldn't recommend it.

Oh, and (to quote Aurora) I'm going to fail out of life. I am struggling through Greek, trying to get through History, Geology, and Geography. The only one of my classes that is going undoubtedly well is the Sociology. I have a huge Greek test on Monday, and I'm really dreading it. No matter what I do, I can't seem to remember the correct endings for the noun declensions or the exact placements of accents. Ugh.

One more thing: Directly below this and every entry is a place for comments. Feel free to comment. Really, it gives me something to look at to occupy my attention longer when I'm procrastinating.

Well, off to get sleep so that I can study so that I can pass. Goodnight, cruel world.

World Peace and my iPod

I was studying for my Political Geography quiz a few days ago, when the perfect ideas for solving the West Bank dispute came to mind. I was thinking about animal territoriality, and then it hit me: fire hydrant. We should divide up the disputed territory into home-sized plots, then open it up for whoever wants to run out and relieve themselves. Whoever urinates on the plot first claims it for him/herself and consequently his/her country. It creates a multi-cultural community. It can't be suicide bombed because who knows where the Palestinians are and where the Israelis are? Or, if you have a distaste for human urine, we could always do the typical band fundraiser: cow patty bingo. We make a miniature miniature map of the territory on a football field somewhere in Nebraska, then we let the cows loose, some marked as "Palestinian" and some as "Israeli", then let the patties fall where they may. Palestine gets the plots marked by the "Palestinian" cows, and the same with Israel and the "Israeli" cows. It would make about as much sense as the current divisions of territory. I realize that they all want the same territory, but why can't they just share it instead of killing one another? Thus, the fire hydrant plan or the cow patty bingo plan. It's excellent.

A few other assertions: I think that non-state nations should be given territory instead of being "ethnically cleansed" off the planet. For instance, the whole Middle East would be more peaceful if Iraq, Iran, and Kuwait would just give the Kurds a little land and freedom of self-government. Many of the bombings in Southeast Asia would disappear if the people of East Timor, Tibet, and Taiwan were freed. And, come to think of it, Putin would have a much safer nation if he would let Chechnya and the other nations that wish to secede do so. But that's just my opinion. And I don't think that the U.S. should intercede, I just wish the other nations would get over their greed and work for peace instead of territory and control. (But then, the U.S. isn't really good at that, either, so I guess I can't expect it of others...)

In other news, I got my iPod in the mail today. I'm pretty psyched about it. I mean, all the music I want to listen to in a little tiny computer-thing. That means that I don't have to lug around my giant CD case, I can just walk and jam, jam and walk. I can go to class while grooving to my favorite tunes. I finally get to have a soundtrack to life, instead of just the music in my head that never stops. It's hot.

Well, back to cramming and jamming. I'm out.

Awesome Birthday Weekend

This has been a SPECTACULAR birthday weekend. First, I slept in on Saturday, then spent a few hours doing volunteer work on the home of an elderly gentleman named Paul. He was really sweet and I had a great time working for him. After that, I came back to the FARC and talked on the phone some with family and did some homework. Saturday evening I went to Grinders for dinner with Adam, then we went to Cold Stone for ice cream (YUM!). After that, Adam, Caleb, and I sat in the lounge and talked for a while, then ran to Gerbes. Upon our return, KJ and I had a great movie night, watching French Kiss and Someone Like You in the FARC lounge. We wrapped up the evening with a great conversation with Clark.

Today was amazing, too. I went to church, then Ashley took me out for Indian food for lunch. I went out to Cosmo to do some homework in the afternoon, then talked on the phone with my parents, my sister, Dusty, Amy, and Holly. Then the Wombat came and took me to dinner at Shakespeare's. After that, we watched While You Were Sleeping. Soon after that, KJ, Stef, and Rachee came over, and we ate cake and talked. The awesome finale of the evening was running around with the Wombat and KJ at Cosmo on the playground equipment, then running through the sprinklers on the quad, all the while wearing my tiara and boa. Awesome...freaking awesome.

All in all, a fabulous birthday. I think I may not hate being 20 after all. But I am going to regress from here. Growing up is for the birds. I'm still gonna play. Thanks to all of you who gave me such a wonderful birthday, though! You're awesome and I love you!

In Memoriam

Someone important to me passed away today. Granted, she was elderly and her health was going, so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but this sort of thing never feels good. Whenever anyone close to me dies, I always think of all the people in my life who have passed away. So, I have decided to dedicate this entry to those people and their memories. God be with them.

Betsy was the first person to teach me to garden. She would always serve dinner for herself, her husband, and my family. She always had food to give to us, just to share her love through tangible things. Every year, she would take me to her church for their children's program. At least once every summer, she would just show up one afternoon and take my sister and I out for ice cream. When her beloved husband, Harold, died, she gave me his puzzles because she knew I loved them. Harold passed away several years ago, but he was an amazing individual as well. Harold would do jigsaw puzzles with me, tell me stories about our hometown, and carve things out of wood. Harold could make anything. He made a baby cradle for me when dolls were my favorite toys. As much as I miss Betsy and Harold, I know that they're together now. They aren't in pain anymore, they aren't lonely anymore... now they're together with each other and God. And I thank God for the chance to know them.

Eunice died this year as well. She was a sweet, wonderful, faithful woman. She held on through tough times in her family and never gave up. She kept smiling into her nineties. Thank God for her spirit and love.

I lost two classmates from high school: Kate and Tony. Tony died my senior year in high school. He was always sweet, if a little quiet, and reminded me of Eeyore. Near the beginning of 2002, Tony committed suicide. He was a great guy, and we miss him dearly. Kate was a wonderful girl with an amazing faith. She was on the swim team when I was statistician, and I knew her from the music and drama departments. Kat was always smiling and laughing, always radiating joy from God. She was killed in a car accident in early 2004. She is sorely missed.

The first major grief in my life was the death of my grandfather. He suffered from Alzheimers, and I never really got to know him well. I feel as though I know him, though, from all the stories I have heard from my parents, my aunt and uncle, and my grandmother. I know from the stories that he was an amazingly intelligent, witty, humorous, and kind man. I'm glad that I got to meet him and know him for the brief time I did, and I am blessed to know that a little part of him is in me. I wish I could have known him better, but I rejoice that I knew him at all.

For the others who have touched my life and passed on: Mark, Darrin, Yvette, Mary, Susan, and others, I thank God for all of you. For those of you who have touched my life and those who continue to touch my life on a daily basis, thank you for everything. Never doubt how important you are or how much I love you.

Now I'm taking my sad thoughts and going to bed.

Dikaiopolis, plowing, and the slave

Yes, I know it has been a long time since I have written. I realize that this may be disappointing to the, oh, maybe two people who read this blog. To you, I apologize. However, I have been caught up in a very traumatic and engrossing saga involving my friend Dikaiopolis and his slave, Xanthias. There was some confusion about a rock, and some plowing, and the oxen were mad... it was a mess. That is to say, I have been really busy trying to keep up with my Ancient Greek homework (and other classes). So, allow me to update some random thoughts and happenings from the last week.

The first thing on my mind right now is: OUCH! The Wesley State-wide float trip was this weekend and, while it was quite fun, it is also excruciatingly painful in that I have a terrible sunburn and a couple of really nasty purple and green bruises. Despite my best efforts to apply sunscreen, my back and shoulders are the approximate color of a Kansas Jayhawk, and the tops of my feet and thighs resemble the color of a strawberry smoothie. I had to carry my bookbag around all day in my hands because it hurt too much to carry on my back, leaving me looking like a complete idiot waddling around campus with a grimace on my face. While I usually love being hugged, I have spent the last two days begging people not to hug me because I might scream. Thank heavens for Sarah, who puts aloe on my back three times a day. She is my medical hero.

Another revelation from the float trip: more confirmation that I'm never going to get married. I talked to a man there who chose his seminary based on where his wife could work while he was in classes. I don't want to be limited like that. I mean, there's way too much I want to do that would keep me from settling down: I want to travel to Africa, Asia, and Australia/New Zealand. I want to get a Masters Degree and a Doctorate. I want to have a dog. Besides, I'm not willing to settle for convenience and logical love. It's like Elizabeth Bennett says in Pride and Prejudice, "I am determined that only the deepest love could ever induce me into matrimony." Besides, where am I ever going to find a guy who not only is a good match for me, who I like and who likes me in return, and who is willing to follow me wherever I end up going for ministry?

Other exciting news: the Broncos beat the Chiefs last night in the season opener. I was ecstatic. Today I wore my Elway jersey around campus and had more random conversations with strangers than ever before. I mean, I know that a lot of people here are Chiefs fans, but I never realized how many people were willing to speak up about a SHIRT. No one was mean, though, there were a few supportive Broncos and Rams fans, and the Chiefs fans merely joked around with me. Fun times.

We discussed language in my women's sociology class the other day, which means we got to use all sorts of "dirty" words like bitch and cunt. I really hate that the word bitch is supposed to be bad, when it is used to describe an assertive, opinionated, strong woman. There is nothing wrong with being assertive, opinionated, or strong, no matter what the gender, and I resent the implication that such things are bad. I, however, have never had a problem with the word cunt. I mean, because it was so "dirty", I first encountered it when I was sixteen and reading a Ken Follett novel. I didn't even really realize it was bad, and I refuse to think about a part of the female anatomy as a "dirty word". I mean, words like dick aren't bad, so why should cunt be so bad? This irks me. I am hereby reclaiming the word cunt. I like it. I'm going to use it. People can deal with it.

I also saw my first roommate on campus today. After hearing rumors that she quit her sorority, that she was moving to kU, and that she'd switched out of journalism, I didn't know where she was. I mean, it's been almost two years since I've run into her, and I was so surprised when I saw her today that I didn't know how to respond. We had one of those inane how-are-you conversations, then we went our separate ways. I have no idea what she's studying now or anything. Surreal.

I leave you with one last exciting bit of news: Filming is underway for a new Pride and Prejudice movie, starring Kiera Knightly. Even though I know it won't be as good as the Colin Firth version, I still love Jane Austen, and I'm looking forward to it. YAY! For now, though, I'm headed back to Dikaiopolis and his plow.

Labor Day

Labor Day weekend always makes me restless, so I tried to keep busy this weekend. I went to the park with KJ (coolest playground EVER is out at Cosmo!), watched movies with Jen and the Wombat, read three books, did my homework, and wrote some letters. The most bizarre part of my restlessness, though, was my decision to change my hair color. I had been getting bored with having my boring cut brown hair, so I decided to shake things up a bit. Sarah got dark dye, and I got auburn/red. So, now I have earned the nickname "Coppertop" and my hair is deep red, looking either brown or purple in weird lighting. My favorite description of the hair is "edgy".

Another weird thing about the weekend is that it marks one year since the last time I kissed anyone. A whole year since I've kissed anyone. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Do I even remember how? Oy.

Anyway, it's a gorgeous day outside. There's a tiny bit of chill in the air, and the breeze has a taste of dried leaf crunch mixed with the last of summer's sunshine. I want to go walk, or play on the playground, or at least read outside. After all, winter's going to come and I'll want to hide for four months, so I'd better enjoy the nice weather while I can.

FARC You

Yes, that's right, I'm working the FARC desk. An exciting pastime for my Saturday night, I'll admit. It's Labor Day weekend, which means that the dorm is 2/3 empty, and the other 1/3 are band folks who are partying or out-of-staters left to their own, quiet devices. I count as an out-of-stater, I guess, and trapped into working until midnight. Not that I'd have anything to do anyway, I'd probably be doing the same stuff in my room if I weren't at the desk: reading, knocking out the dab of homework my professors kindly gave me to occupy my downtime, and contemplating the future.

It's hard to believe that there are just four more semesters left in my college career. After this semester, I've got 12 classes left. Only 12. I'm starting to give serious thought to Study Abroad stuff, and thinking that perhaps New Zealand isn't the place for me. I've been crunching numbers, looking at programs, and thinking about the cultural experience. My options at this point are New Zealand, Australia, and (in first place right now) South Africa. South Africa has the most unique cultural outlook and it's the least expensive, plus I could speak English. I'm trying to figure out what kind of Capstone project or class I'd like to take, and I'm looking at seminary prospects.

Seminary. Just like with my college decision, I'm starting to make a giant spreadsheet with the options, strengths and weaknesses, the financial distribution, and my opinions. I'm considering Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Duke, Emory, Garrett, Iliff, St. Paul, Trinity, and Boston University. Ten. I want to visit all of them, then I have to decide. The nice thing is that I probably won't apply to all of them, and even if I did it would be a smaller number of schools than I applied to for undergrad. Ahhh... gotta love applications.

But enough living in the future. For the moment, I'm working my way through my classes, struggling only with Greek so far. I'll be getting back to Inquiry stuff soon and Wesley is off and running. And, there's always working at the desk: getting paid to relax and snagging a piece of every pizza that's delivered to residents. Mmmm...