The End is Near

This title has nothing to do with my recent study of Revelation for class, rather, it refers to the fact that the semester is nearly finished. I had my last class of the semester today, so I am just a few breaths away from being halfway done with college. I'm not sure how I feel about that. In a way, I feel accomplished, like I'm really growing and learning new things. But at the same time, it's scary, knowing that in two short years I have to face the "real world". I don't think I want to do that. In fact, if I could prograstinate entering the real world indefinitely, you'd better believe I'd do it. I'm starting to look at seminaries, and that's intimidating, too. I have to make yet another important decision that will affect my future, and that always makes me nervous. So, I have achieved it, reached the halfway point of college, but I'm also on my way down the other side of the hump toward the real world.

So, I had the good news recently of being told that I was selected as Head DA in my favorite dorm for next year. The problem with this is that I'm supposed to be back at Mizzou by August 8, but I'm supposed to be working at ASP until August 13. Somehow I have to find a way to be in two places at once, or compromise somehow. I don't want to lose either job, or let either organization down, because I care deeply about both of them, but I also can't be in two places at once. On top of that, I can't seem to get an answer from either side as to whether compromise is possible. I've only been able to talk to answering machines at ASP, and I haven't gotten any word from the higher-ups at ResLife yet, either. What I really want to do is leave ASP on Aug. 10 and be 2 days late to the HDA stuff, but I don't know whether that is possible. I suppose if it comes down to it, I'll give up the HDA and stick with the ASP, but I'm afraid that if I give up HDA, I'll lose my DA spot altogether, since the DAs have been selected. Perhaps they'd bump Ben up to HDA, then give me his DA spot. I don't know. I just really want to know how it's going to work out so I don't have to worry about it anymore. I hate the insecurity.

I do have good news, though. One of my finals was made optional, so I'm not taking it. That means I only have 3 finals left to take, and I know for sure that I have an A in one of my classes. Unfortunately, the three finals I have left are in my hardest classes, and the finals will have a huge impact on my final grade. Ugh. Who invented finals, anyway? Whose brilliant idea was it to try to make you remember everything you'd learned in 4 months on one test? Whoever thought it up was a cruel and terrible person. Sadist!

In other news, it is gorgeous out today. It's one of those cloudless, 80-degree days that only happen in the spring. One of those days where the sun just kisses your cheeks, without inducing a tsunami of sweat. Very nice. Why is it that these days only ever happen on Wednesdays, when I don't have any time to enjoy them? I want to go make grass angels, fling the frisbee across the quad, and spin in circles until I fall down, then watch the clouds float dizzily past. *sigh* I really think I was born to be a seven-year-old. Which would mean that I'm already 12 years past my prime. And that it's all downhill from then. How incredibly sad is that? Yikes.

I have to try to find storage tomorrow with Jen, which is NOT going to be fun. I'm scared to death that we won't be able to find storage and that I'll have to call my parents and beg them to come and get me here, which would be terrible. So, we'll all pray that storage smiles on me tomorrow.

Just to clarify this entry, I'm actually not in a bad mood. I'm just a bit stressed. But hey, there are wonderful things, too: the gorgemous weather, the puzzle I'm doing, getting to see my family and friends from home in 9 days, the cancelled final, Wesley Stuff, and my friends here at Mizzou. So, it'll be OK. I just have to keep telling myself that. It'll be OK. It'll be OK. It'll be OK. *Deep breath* Ahh...

Now, back to work. Later, dudes...

Songs for the day: "Paved Paradise" by Joni Mitchell, "College Kids" by Reliant K, "Remember Me This Way" from the Casper Soundtrack, "Freefalling" by Tom Petty, and "She Said" by Collective Soul