Thursday, October 07, 2004

Amish...or Not

I am mad at technology. Microsoft Office has decidedly stopped working, so I am contemplating becoming Amish. Here I will weigh the positive and negative aspects of such an idea.

Positives: First, the food. Amish cheese, Amish butter, Amish ham, fresh produce, all straight from the farm that you're living on. Talk about good eating. Then there's the whole anti-vanity thing. I'd never have to see another mirror, so I'd never know when I was having a bad hair day, or a break out, or anything annoying like that. Plus they're really devoted to God, so that'd be a great atmosphere. And I like horses and farm animals.

Negatives: Farm hours, which means early to bed and early to rise...not my type of thing. Also, Amish women are cooks, bakers, babysitters, seamstresses, and birthing machines. I can't do that. I am none of those things, and I don't really have any desire to be any of those things. On top of that, I'd have to wear dresses all the time. I hate dresses. I would probably break out in a rash because of all the dress-wearing. Not to mention the lack of medical care, the lack of cell phone, the lack of higher education, the lack of pictures, the lack of color, and the lack of blog.

OK, forget it. I'd die as an Amish person. Not that I don't love the Amish, I admire their determination. But it might have been a LITTLE impetuous of me to decide that the evils of Microsoft are a good reason to join an Amish community. Just a little. Lauren as Amish:Browns winning Super Bowl -- Not even in the realm of imagination.

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