Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dating Nightmare

I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop today, and I heard the people in the next booth have the following dialogue:

1: "So, is she attractive?"
2: "Yeah."
1: "So what's the problem?"
2: "Well... she goes to seminary school."
1: "Oh. Enough said. Seriously?"
2: "Yeah. I mean, she seems really sweet and really cool. But I don't buy that Christianity thing. I mean, I'm really interested in it."
1: "But you can't date her just because you're interested in Christianity. I mean, I'm interested in disco, but that doesn't mean I'm going to date my disco dancing instructor. I mean, is she going to be a preacher?"
2: "No, she's just studying Christianity, she's not going to be a pastor."
1: "Oh. But still!"
2: "Right. Well, I mean, she's really sweet and I like her."
1: "But clearly it won't work."
2: "Obviously. So, I'll just break her heart and break her faith. (laughs)"

It was at this point that person #2 stood up and started getting ready to leave. Despite my attempts to demonstrate restraint, I just couldn't resist this one. So, I spoke up:

L: "Out of curiosity, which seminary does she go to?"
1: "Oh, watch, this is her friend, and now you're really in trouble."
L: "No, no. I'm just curious because I'm in seminary."
2: "That one in Decatur. I don't remember the name."
L: "Columbia?"
2: "Yeah, that's it. It's not that I don't respect Christianity. I do. I just don't buy it..." And he proceeded to explain that, based on the grammar of Elohim, he thinks that Christianity is misreading its own sacred texts to embrace monotheism when, in reality, the texts imply multiple divinities. Then he beat a hasty retreat.

In all reality, this is the sort of conversation and reaction that I usually get when I tell people that I'm in seminary. The usual responses are:
a) Oh, so you're going to be a pastor? Right. *silence* Well, I've got to go...
b) I go to church sometimes... *guilty look* I was raised Presbyterian/Catholic/Methodist/Episcopal. *awkward silence* Oh, I think that my friends just walked in...
c) How can you believe that stuff? I think... (Insert theological treatise here)
It's a real conversation killer. And I'm a little nervous that introducing myself as a pastor might actually get worse responses. I may never date again.

9 comments:

Paige said...

What a TERRIBLE conversation. All sorts of ridiculous assumptions buried in there, I'm sure. =P But you'll definitely date again! You're amazing, after all. And I figure that anyone uncomfortable enough with their own self and beliefs to be threatened by yours is not worth dating, anyway!

But you're right . . . that reaction is pretty standard. =( It makes for an awkward social life for sure.

Unknown said...

I'm assuming instead of "monogomy" you meant "monotheism." There are so few people at Candler that actually believe in monogomy.
Just do what I did...marrying the pastor thing, not the divorce thing.

Lauren said...

I fixed it. Thanks for the editing, Lance!

Anonymous said...

But.....I mean might you have a similar conversation with a friend about a guy who believed himself to be a psychic or a ghost hunter or a palm reader? Not comparing what we do with that--but people believe what they believe. It might be better for you to date someone who loves and supports what you do rather than someone who thinks your weird because of it. At some point we have to trust that God has put us here for a reason and still cares enough to give us the support we need.

That being said, the vast majority of the time I've had the opposite reaction. Don't think that this has to be the norm. Its just the one you've been seeing.

Cheer up and have a little faith.

Unknown said...

That's interesting. I like the way he stated his case against someone who would know more than he would and then beat it once it was your turn to speak up. Wimp. Don't concern yourself with him. As annoying as he might have been. I would never have thought people would react that way to a pastor. It must be that there is so much ignorance about your job. They assume you are nutty, closed minded and aggressive.

Unknown said...

Well, Lauren is nutty and aggressive.

Lauren said...

Nutty, yes. But aggressive?

Unknown said...

Lauren's brand of crazy is people friendly. Has Lauren ever threatened you Lance? Its fun. I wouldn't call her aggressive, though ambitious.

Rev. Sarah C. Evans said...

If I told you once, well maybe I FORGOT to tell you this: You are in sales.

Dude: So, cute lady, what line of work are you in?
L: Sales.
Dude: What do you sell? (eyebrows raised)
L: Something you want, can never afford, but is amazing free.
Dude: What? (stunned, confused look on face)
L: I'm in sales dude, figure it out and love me anyway.
Dude: Huh? (eyes glaze, vast wasteland of soul revealed)
L: The Dude abides. (L walks off)