Not Boring

I don't want to write anything serious today. After all, I could write about how amazing my spring break trip to ASP was, but I can't capture the awesomeness in writing. I could write about how great it was to see people from home over break, but that only really matters to me. I could write about how much it sucks being sick (I have a cold) or I love the amazing people who brought me hot chocolate, green tea, NyQuil, and flowers when I was feeling yucky. But I'm not going to. I'm not going to do anything serious at all. Instead, I'm going to respond to something in one of my friend's blogs. You see, one of my friends made a movie-quote quiz. Unfortunately, I haven't seen many of the movies he likes and I didn't pay all that much attention, so I did really poorly. (3 out of 35, YIKES!) So, in retaliation, I'm making my own movie quote quiz. And I won't fail it, which will make me happy. Here it is. Good luck!

1) "Time wounds all heals."
2) "Long ago, the gentle tangles of his hair filled the emptiness of my hands."
3) "I'm a bumblebee. Um, a bendiboo. I'm Benny."
4) "And there was a man of no particular title who took care of a small pool in the garden for a goldfish named George."
5) "I am FILLED with Christ's love. You're just jealous of my success in the Lord."
6) "I'll pay for this! I mean, YOU'LL pay for this!"
7) "Except maybe an MLT where the mutton is nice and lean."
8) "Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I see?"
9) "My, my, the bulimia has certainly paid off."
10) "Someone sat on me again."
11) "Exits are here, here, here, here, everywhere."
12) "I'm going crazy. I'm standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy."
13) "I fear he's at very great risk of falling as much in love with you as ever."
14) "My, what lovely elbows you have, Miss Flannery!"
15) "Excuse me, does Natalie live here?"
16) "The trouble with these international affairs is they attract foreigners."
17) "Push the button, Max!"
18) "Band uniforms are non-sectarian!"
19) "You don't know the girls from Upper Sandusky."
20) "Three days? How many sins could you have committed in three days? Come back when you have more time, please!"
21) "May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we may know them by their limping."
22) "What color are their hands now?"
23) "Lawyers should never marry lawyers. This is called in-breeding; from this comes idiot children...and other lawyers."
24) "It's the second time he's dropped his Bible since she's been in there!"
25) "I think we can't go around measuring our goodness by what we don't do - by what we deny ourselves, what we resist and who we exclude. I think we've got to measure goodness by what we embrace, what we create and who we include."
26) "The question is not whether I've treated you rudely but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better."
27) "You have saved our lives, we are eternally grateful."
28) "I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
29) "You watch your phraseology!"
30) "I can hardly eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs."
31) "Lost, lost, lost... I've lost my marbles!"
32) "You have smoked yourself retarded."
33) "Is it me, or are cats drag queens? I think it's the way they go 'Who loves kitty, who loves kitty?'"
34) "Gee, that's awful. Locking up a little kid. Kids should be free. Free to run around the house on saturday mornings, free to have cookies and milk, and get those little white mustaches. Nobody's going to steal a kid's freedom while I'm around! Nobody! You hear me?"
35) "I always thought it was a ridiculous name for a prison. Sing Sing, I mean. Sounds more like it should be an opera house or something."

And the special-bonus-if-you-get-this-right-I'll-take-you-out-for-dinner (no cheating!):
A: I'll have two chicken enchiladas with extra sauce, a tostada grande, a quesadilla with a side of guacamole, and two cherries with...
B: They're closed.
C: Oh, fellas!
B: The instructions say to drop the doll under the little sombrero.
C: Wow! What do you know? One down, and eleven to go.
A: And one quesadilla...

So, leave me comments and tell me how you did! (Ask me for the answers when you're done)

Yup.

I survived. This week there hasn't been a single day that I got to bed before 2 a.m., and I've had to get up early for class or work every day. I had 2 major projects, plus tons of last minute paperwork for ASP and study abroad. It just about drove me out of my mind. On the bright side, though, a couple of friends saved my butt in spectacular ways (thanks Chris, Ashley, and KJ!) and tonight has been a blast. And tomorrow I get to leave all of this terrible stress behind and drive off into the sunset (actually, toward the sunrise, as we're going east, but whatever) to get away from everything for a week. I can't wait. So, I won't be posting for at least a week, but when I'm sure I'll have lots to say when I get back. Until then, I leave you with this.


I know the second she enters the room. I don't have to look behind me to know that she has beautiful, shiny, flawlessly styled hair. I don't have to look toward the door to know that she's slender and curvy, with painted-on pants and a strategically placed tank-top. That's how they always look. And suddenly I'm invisible to the guys who were my closest friends two minutes ago. It doesn't matter that I was in the middle of a comment. It doesn't matter that we were laughing together moments ago. Now I'm not even here. She'll come over and flirt, she'll touch their shoulder just so, or give them that look, or climb all over them overtly. It doesn't really matter what she does because she'll ooze femininity and flaunt her sex appeal until all of them are practically drooling. She wants every male's attention and, of course, she gets it.
I didn't need her presence to remind me that I'm only temporary entertainment until the better women arrive. She didn't have to show off her beauty for me to know that I'm the chubby, plain, awkward type of female that would rather be talking football and trucks than reading Cosmo. I already knew that my looks couldn't compare. Wit and humor just don't garner attention like a tight butt.
It doesn't matter that I dream of having a guy look at me as though he can't tear his eyes away. It makes no difference that I long to just once walk into a room and watch the male heads turn. It's silly. I just don't want to disappear in the eyes of my male friends the second a perfectly-coiffed, feminine girl steps into the room.

Not a complaint, just something to think about.

I don't know

*Disclaimer: I don't want answers to my questions, I just want to send them into the void and get them out of my head.*

I feel like I'm sitting at a table in a restaurant trying to figure out what to order. The menu is limitless. I don't know if I have an appetite, or what kind of food I want to eat, or what I even think would be healthy or give me food poisoning. Beyond that, I don't know whether the waitress would even serve me.

On employment: I want to get more education, but I don't know where or what in. I know that I want to go into some sort of ministry, but I don't know what kind. I would like to work for the Methodist Church, but I don't know in what capacity. I can't figure out what God is calling me to do, and I can't really see the road ahead. I'm going to go to seminary because some sort of ministry is in my future and that's the way to start, but I don't know any more details than that.

On myself: I don't know how other people see me. I see my insecurities, weaknesses, and flaws. I have some vague idea of what I'm capable of, but that's about it. Other people's perspectives are a mystery.

On relationships: I don't know if I want to be in a relationship. I crave the comfort and affection, but I don't know what or who I want. And I don't know that if I found the right person that they'd want me back. I don't know what falling head-over-heels in love feels like. I have no idea what the right way to go on this one is, so I'm staying stationary.

On the state of the world: I have several classes that cause me to question the world around me. They point out inequalities and dangers and the way humans are hurting each other, and I'm in a conundrum. Is there more I can do to help? Should I stand up and fight the problems, or would I just do more harm than good? Where can I start? Is it even worth fixing if things only seem to get worse and worse?

So, I just keep sitting at my table. I'm going to keep on heading toward some form of ministry and hope that gets cleared up in time. I'll leave people to view me from whatever perspective they want. I'm keeping my several amazing guy friends and staying single. And as for the world, I'll keep on working in the ways I can and hoping that things can be really changed someday. And I keep waiting.

I'm waiting for Godot.

Building

Do you ever run into a friend at random that you haven't seen in ages and immediately remember exactly why you liked them so much? I got to catch up with a friend of mine yesterday when I ran into her on campus unexpectedly. We talked about theology, authors, our lives, and our futures. I had a magnificent time, and it was just a 30 minute cup of coffee! I love rebuilding friendships.

The stress and excitement are building as I approach spring break. The stress of midterms and upcoming projects is weighing on me, but at the same time I'm SO excited for break. I'm going to Jonesville again to volunteer with ASP, which has me psyched. I'm going to get to visit my families from this summer, too, which will be a blast. Then it's back home for a day (just one!) to see my parents and possibly other relatives before driving like mad back to school. I'm excited to get to make the trek. After all, it's combining a bunch of my favorite things in one week: ASP, Wesley, my family and friends from home, and the return of junk food to my life!

So, I've given in and actually gotten onto the Facebook. I said I wasn't going to, but I had to give in. I have discovered that I like it. I mean, I get to see what my friends are up to, even those who are at other schools that I don't get to see very often. I'm catching up with summer staff and people from high school, as well as having another way to contact the folks at school when I'm away.

In just a week, I'll be building for real: ASP here I come!

Utter Bewilderment

I'm going to try the KJ's tactic of "dashing". Here goes:

- I got stuck in a "what if" discussion yesterday with a friend of mine. I love and hate what if discussions. I love that they leave all possibilities open. I love wondering how my life would different if I had grown up somewhere else or gone to a different college. But I hate the what ifs of the future. I hate looking at a major decision and knowing that there are millions of options for how things could end up. I hate knowing that these little choices affect my whole future. It's just too much pressure to put on a single decision!

- I hate the radio ads on the pop stations here. I know, it's what I get for listening to pop, but I don't feel like it's a good plan to listen to hard rock music at the desk. But the ads on this station are terrible. First, there are the gross adult bookstore and strip joint ads. I don't want to hear or even think about that stuff, and it's on the radio where anyone can hear it. Then there are the terrible car commercials that have this annoying male voice saying over and over again, "Yeah, well..." That's all this voice says, while a really nasal female voice talks quickly and irritatingly. It's terrible. (Sorry, I hate the ads, I just needed to get that out there.)

- How did March get here so fast? Spring break is only 17 days away and we've nearly reached midterms. This semester is FLYING!

- Is non-sexual, friendly cuddling an option? I was just having this discussion with some people last night. Can two friends just decide to cuddle a bit because cuddling is comfy and fun? Or is that taboo and only going to cause problems? I mean, sometimes I just want to cop a cuddle. It's not like I want a relationship, it's not a sexual thing, I just want to be held a bit. Any opinions out there?

- I keep having weird, recurring dreams about amusement parks. Seriously, I've had these dreams three times in the last week. What's my function?

- Hey. You. Update your blog. Really. I get bored at the desk and I need something sensational to read!