Wallflower

Sitting expectantly
Wishing to be noticed
Yet timidly hiding
From strangers' stares.

Eyes humbly cast down
Listening to the revels of others
Like a child with his nose
Pressed against the car window.

Watching everyone laugh and cry
But never taking part.
Seeing others express themselves
Through music, and writing, and art.

Waiting for an invitation
To join reality
An outsider
Waiting at the door.

Living on the outside
And peeking in the door
Watching others in the water,
But standing on the shore.

Afraid of being rejected,
I disappear in the commotion.
I have no courage, so I sit here
A decoration.

Reading novels and watching films
To see how life could be,
Never having a life for myself
Only vicariously.

"Why am I the witness
And when I capture it on film
Will it mean that it's the end
And I'm alone?" - "Halloween" from RENT, by Johnathan Larson

"[He] hides in his work ...
From facing your failure, facing your loneliness
Facing the fact you live a lie - tell you why
You're always preaching not to be numb
When that's how you thrive.
You pretend to create and observe
When you really detach from being alive." - "Goodbye Love" from RENT, by Johnathan Larson