"I Wonder as I Wander..."

I did a great deal of walking around campus today, mostly because I had five classes, spread all over the place. So, I thought I'd summarize some of the thoughts that splattered in my brain while I ambled/slid/waddled/rushed around campus.

First, there are tons of squirrels on the quad. Why? Why are there so many squirrels on the quad? And why aren't they scared of people? I think that they laugh at us and talk about us as we walk to class. I imagine their conversation to me something like this:
Short, very obese squirrel: "Silly humans, they don't have any fur, so they have to wear those silly looking hats all the time. Why don't they hibernate like all of the other wussy animals do?"
Thin squirrel with big tail: "I don't know. And why do they go sit in boring buildings and listen to boring lectures instead of playing outside like us? Humans think they're so special because they walk upright. That only gives the back problems."
SVOS: "True dat, fuzzy. Idiot bi-peds."
TSWBT: "Crap for brains. We'll just keep throwing acorns at them." HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!
Then they go back to playing freeze tag. (Yes, I mean freeze tag, I could distinctly make out the style of play)

Then I saw a tour group. There is some sort of mischievous part of me that wants to do crazy things whenever I see a tour group. Like talk loudly to a stranger near me about how I'm going to sue the University because they tied me up and made me eat asparagus during one of my finals. Or I get the urge to follow the tour group, and ask bizzarro questions, like "What kind of asphalt do you use around here?" and "Do you have any professors with the last name Bueller?" Sometimes I want to yell nonsensical movie quotes at them, like, "I'm going to rip out your eyeballs and skullf--- you!" or "Go away, you silly English pig-dog! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry!" Worst of all, I have the feeling I should try to get them lost, or hit on them, or throw them in the snow. It's not that I have any problem with prospective students, I actually want them to come here and support the university. I just can't help that I have an eight-year-old problem child trapped in a nineteen-year-old responsible student body. Does this mean that I have mental issues? Hmm...

And when I'm walking across campus, I inevitably see people I recognize. There are several scenarios that always play out in these situations. If it is one of your closer friends, you approach and share a few moments of real conversation, which, of course, causes both of you to be late to your next class. If it's someone that you see on a daily basis and are acquainted with, you either smile and wave, or you try to have one of those brief, "How's it going?" type of conversations, that tell you nothing and usually end with someone yelling from 30 feet away, "FINE THANKS!!!" But worse than either of these is the dilemma of whether or not to talk to that person that you recognize, but can't place. You see someone, and you know that you've talked to them before, either in a class or at a party or through a friend of a friend of a friend, but you can't place them. You can a) smile and wave, in hopes that they'll also recognize you and do the same, b) ignore them and risk offense c) say hi and hope that they don't just look at you like you're crazy, or d) some combination of a) and b).

And what is up with the people who don't wear coats? I know you think you're tough, and young, and invincible, but REALLY! There's snow on the ground, the high for the day is 26 degrees, and you should be wearing a coat. No, wearing gloves and a hat with no coat is not enough. I don't care if it makes you look like a wimp, I don't care if it doesn't match your outfit. None of that will matter when you FREEZE TO DEATH! Silly. Very silly.

One last thing: I think that there are tiny elves who live in the hem of my jeans and jump down to untie my shoes when I least expect it. It doesn't matter what I do. Even if I double knot my shoes and weave the loops through my shoelaces farther down, they still come untied. And only in the worst possible situations, like when it's 12 degrees out and windy. Or when it's raining. Or when I'm trying to cross College Ave. Ergh. I'm cursed with shoelace-untying-elves. Evil, nasty creatures. Grr.

But all in all, despite these random, slightly psychotic thoughts, I had a pretty good day. Now, on to get some food and see RENT. Rock on.