Starting Superlatives.

I find superlatives very difficult. Questions that begin with "What was your best/most/worst/favorite..." Almost always leave me scratching my head, saying, "I'm not sure I can pick just one!!!" I can't pick just one favorite movie or song or book. I can't decide on just one favorite food or most embarrassing moment. In fact, the only time a superlative came easily to me was when I was elected "Teachers' Pet" by my senior class. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone, either. I think a lot of people struggle with superlatives like that. Yet evaluations and applications are always full of that type of question.

This evening I found myself working on annual reports for the ministry process, writing about my learnings this year, how I'm addressing my growing edges, that sort of stuff. It was all quite ordinary and relatively easy to answer until I reached the last question: "What have you learned in the past year that has most affected your practice of ministry? Where or from whom did you learn it?" I have no idea how to answer this question, because I can't identify just one thing.

In the last ten months of my ministry, I have learned more than I ever imagined I would. I've learned how to lead a committee meeting while speaking very little. I've learned how to preach more effectively. I've learned how to draw boundaries to protect my time and personal life. I've learned how to say no without alienating too many people. I've learned how to preside at communion, how to baptize, how to lead a funeral, how to officiate a wedding. I've learned a bunch about self-care, balance, and prioritizing. I've discovered the importance of having good relationships with colleagues and asking good questions of trusted mentors. I've learned how to slow down and dig into the history of the congregation before moving forward with actions that might rock the boat. I've realized things about myself and my authority, and I've found strength and confidence I didn't know I had.

But, out of everything I've learned, I can't identify just one thing that "has most affected my practice of ministry." I have a feeling that whatever it is probably came from one of two sources: either from actually being in ministry, which has taught me a TON, or from conversations with my lead pastor, who is a brilliant leader, a very intelligent and articulate theologian, and a generally wise person. This first year, those have been the most important influences. It makes me very thankful to get to work with a senior pastor that I respect and admire, and to have opportunities to try new things.

I finally gave up on discerning what one thing has been most important for my practice of ministry and just chose one thing at random from the top twenty. I finished the report and sent it in. But I'm still pondering all that I've learned; I'm still thankful for the chance to learn it and the grace of those who are guiding me through the learning.