Questions...

All of my coherent thoughts lately have gone to writing sermons. In lieu of those, I offer you the following sarcastic questions, which have been floating through my head in the last few days:

How do you tell the difference between the silence of awe and the silence of lead balloons passing over?
I tried something new in our emergent worship service on Sunday. Instead of a traditional sermon or even a first-person narrative sermon, I preached a poem. I wasn't planning to do it, but I woke up on Saturday morning with the poem in my head and felt inspired to write it out and preach it. The congregation greeted it with silence, mostly. The worship attendance for the service varies wildly, and this week we had a large number of children; I suspect the poem went a bit over their heads, but I'm not sure. I wish I could get some feedback, but I wasn't sure how to ask for it. I think I'll give it a while before I try something that out of the ordinary again.

Why did fondue ever go out of style? You're dipping things in cheese and chocolate. How did that ever not seem like a good idea?
Seriously, the only ways I can think to improve good food are to add cheese or chocolate, and fondue does exactly that. It's SO good!!! I had the opportunity this evening to go with a friend to the Melting Pot for Ladies' Night. It was a fantastic form of sabbath. We had great, supportive, fun conversation and enjoyed a delicious feast. The only problem is that now I feel like I'm going to have a food baby...

Why is Charlie obsessed with eating grass clippings? Does he think he's a cow?
Every time I take him out for a walk, Charlie makes beeline for the grass clippings in the yard and tries to eat huge clumps. I don't understand the attraction dead grass holds for my puppy. I feed him plenty and give him good treats, so why is he so interested in the grass? I mean, I can see taking a little taste as an exploration, but huge clumps of dry grass every time we go outside? I'm starting to think he has no taste at all. On the other hand, grass is probably healthier for him than fondue would be.

Who thought THAT would be a good idea?
I went to the circus over the weekend, and it was fantastic! But I kept wondering, as I watched death-defying and amazing acts, who was the first person to suggest this stunt? Who was the first person to say, "Let's put seven people on dirt bikes in this little sphere and have them all drive around and try not to kill each other." Or, which person suggested putting nine tigers in the same cage with a person and hoping that they don't tear him to pieces? I enjoyed the show and was very impressed, but you have to question the wisdom behind the initial suggestions for these acts.