Six Observations from Week Six

1) I went to a conference last week for a ministry that I'm working with at my new church. I believe in the ministry, and I plan to support it in every way that I can. However, at the conference I was continually stuck in the tension between wanting to support the ministry and being disgusted by the sales-orientation of the whole thing. I understand that the ministry is trying to equip people to run the program, but I felt like I was sitting through endless infomercials for leadership books and extra programs. I hated the corporate, consumer tone. I was torn. Are they providing necessary equipment for ministry? Or are they like the money-changers in the temple, exploiting devout people to make a profit under the guise of serving God?

2) A very elderly widower proposed to me before our first service on Sunday. I said that I hadn't known him long enough to marry him. Why does this sort of thing always happen?

3) Someone asked me the other week, "What is it that you do all day?" The best answer I can come up with, on further reflection, is that I do what needs to be done. Each day I walk into the office and, like Forrest Gump on the bus to boot camp, "I don't know who I might meet, or what they might ask." I don't know if I'll be doing paperwork and administrative stuff in the office, planning worship, visiting in the hospital, or talking with people who come to the church. No two days are alike.

4) In some ways I get more out of worship services when I'm leading than I do when I'm simply attending. Yes, I'm not distracted by the nerves and my inner attitude is calmer when I'm not in leadership. On the other hand, when I'm leading, when I'm in charge of prayers and things other than the sermon, I listen very carefully to the words of the hymns, the sermon, and the anthem to provide transitions and connections that tie the whole service together. I hear the words and messages more distinctly because I'm more alert.

5) I rely on my friends and colleagues in the ministry, even more than I anticipated. I was counting on being able to call my friends to commiserate and stave off isolation, but I never realized how much it would feed my soul and aid my ministry to have clergy friends. When I went to the conference, I got together with a clergy friend who lives in the area near the conference, and it was amazing to hear about the things he's doing in his ministry, to get ideas and energy from hearing his stories. I returned to two pieces of mail, both from friends in ministry that I hadn't even met three months ago, who had reached out to encourage me. They are friends I can call for advice about work and commiseration about social life or lack thereof. They're people who inspire me, whose company I love. What a blessing there is in collegiality.

6) Living in an unfamiliar city without benefit of roommate means I'm struggling to find things to do with my end-of-the-day energy. On the one hand, it's slightly sad. On the other hand, I'm getting caught up on my crime shows, keeping up via phone with my faraway friends, and getting to know the inside of the workout room better than I have in years. The self-care and wellness people should be proud.