Engaging Everyone

"No wonder I'm single," she says to the mirror. "Even I don't want to get into bed with these thighs."
I say that getting married isn't like winning the Miss America Pageant; it doesn't all come down to the bathing suit competition.
"I hate weddings," she says. "They make me feel so unmarried. Actually, even brushing my teeth makes me feel unmarried." - Melissa Bank, "The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing"

My sister got engaged last weekend. She's older than I am and has been seriously dating this guy for a while, so it wasn't a surprise. I like her fiance, and I'm very happy for both of them. That said, the sudden epidemic of engagements among the people who are closest to me is making me a little crazy. This is the third engagement among my friends this summer, and I have reason to believe that at least one more will occur before the end of the year. That means one wedding in November, another two in January, and probably two more in the spring/summer. It's a little overwhelming.

As a single woman, it's a little difficult to watch all of this go on. Even though I'm a very independent person and I know that don't need a man by my side in order to be happy or validated, it's tough when it feels like everyone around you is pairing off. I watch my friends' giddy smiles, happy for them, but nervous and a little sad because I know that my relationships with them will change. They will be relying on their husbands more than their friends, and may get so busy with children and family life that they no longer have time to go out for coffee or a meal with me.

I'm stuck, too, trying to figure out a theology/ideology of romantic relationships. I've never really believed that there was only one right person, or "soulmate" out there for each individual, despite all the Disney movies and romantic-comedies that seem to imply that. But, at the same time, I don't really think romance is random, either. I think it's a mix of timing and chemistry, attraction and compatibility, God-guidance, location, and free will, and I don't know how those all work together. I'm not waiting around for Mr. Right to sweep me off my feet, but I'm not manhunting, either. I don't even know if I'm supposed to get married or stay single forever. The thing is, these never seemed like urgent questions before. But the sudden flurry of white dresses is giving them undue gravity and imminence.

I'm not going to get the answers to those questions today. I'll let you know if/when somebody fills me in on this. In the meantime, I'll be checking registries, wearing bridesmaid dresses, and wondering what's going on.