I wish I had the words

Since I last put anything on this blog, I've: finished another semester of grad school, traveled to Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Israel, and Greece, been through a break-up, and started work on my thesis. Consider that the quick update.


Visiting the Middle East was incredible and, sadly, indescribable. I've tried to explain the feelings and smells and sights, but I can't capture them in words. My attempts always come up short. For example: The Suq in Damascus smells like the color orange, sharp and bright and spicy. It's a mix of tamarind juice and the spices that are sold in open bins in the market stalls. You walk through the Suq and your eyes get drunk from the colors everywhere, illuminated by sunlight streaming through the pinprick holes in the metal roof. There are colorful scarves and pashminas everywhere, their light fabric and vibrant colors waving gently as people hurry past. Between the stalls of spices and fabrics are stalls gleaming with jewelry and wonderfully decorated tea sets. Then you walk out through ancient stone arches and into a courtyard full of pigeons with old men talking politics and women tending children waiting to get into the Umayyad Mosque just a few yards away.

That was just one of the things we did on our first day in Damascus. Now, imagine ten times what I can describe, and multiply that by 21 days of similar experiences: visiting ruins, driving through deserts, climbing mountains, watching sunrises and sunsets, seeing mosques, churches, and synagogues, worshiping on mountains and next to beautiful blue seas, snorkeling in the Red Sea, riding a camel in the middle of the night, and praying in places where Jesus walked and taught. I regret to say that I can't possibly articulate it. You'd need to go there. Which, for the record, I highly recommend.

I'll try to explain more as I go through more of my pictures and journal stuff. In the meantime, here are some of the pictures that best capture my experience.


This is the sunrise from the top of Mt. Sinai in Egypt.


The "monastery" in Petra, Jordan is actually a huge facade for a tomb.


I had the opportunity to pray at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.

This Made Me Laugh

Someone shared a copy of this list with me a couple days ago, and I thought it was brilliant. It's originally from here, but I've reprinted it here because it's easier to read here than to go link-hunting. I think it's just as reasonable and logical as many of the arguments against ordaining women.

10 Reasons Men Should Not Be Ordained

10. A man’s place is in the army.
9. The pastoral duties of men who have children might distract them from the responsibility of being a parent.
8. The physique of men indicates that they are more suited to such tasks as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do ministerial tasks.
7. Man was created before woman, obviously as a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment rather than the crowning achievement of creation.
6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. Their conduct at football and basketball games demonstrates this.
5. Some men are handsome, and this will distract women worshipers.
4. Pastors need to nurture their congregations. But this is not a traditional male role. Throughout history, women have been recognized as not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more fervently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.
3. Men are prone to violence. No really masculine man wants to settle disputes except by fighting about them. Thus they would be poor role models as well as dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.
2. The New Testament tells us that Jesus was betrayed by a man. His lack of faith and ensuing punishment remind us of the subordinated position that all men should take.
1. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep sidewalks, repair the church roof, and perhaps even lead the song service on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the church.

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Want to date me? Apply now!

Name:
Number of Syllables in Last Name:
Age:
Phone Number(s):
E-Mail Address:
Address:
Height:
Hair Color:
Eye Color:

1) What were the last five books you read? (If you cannot think of 5 books you've ever read, you need not apply.)
2) List your goals for the next five years in priority order.
3) Describe your faith/religious affiliation in detail.
4) List your favorite:
a) Sports teams (NFL, NCAA football, NCAA basketball, hockey, baseball)
b) Newspaper
c) Color
d) Five Movies
e) Five bands/performers
f) Quote
g) Type of art (Medium, genre, artist)
5) What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?
6) Describe your faith/spirituality.
7) List your educational background, beginning with high school and including institutions, degrees, and areas of concentration.
8) Attach an updated resume to this form.
9) Family: explain.
10) Name five current or former members of the Denver Broncos.
11) Your girlfriend asks you to attend a musical with her. How do you respond?
12) What kind of flowers, if any, do you give to a significant other?
13) List any phobias, obsessions, compulsions, psychoses, and neuroses you exhibit.
14) Can you:
a) Tie your shoes?
b) Dig a hole 18"x18"x24"?
c) Select a matching shirt and tie?
d) Change a tire?
e) Give a passable back rub?
f) Eat with your hands?
g) Tolerate tears and whining?
h) Handle yourself in strange social situations?
i) Wash dishes?
j) Pray out loud?
k) Sing?
15) How do you feel about travel?
16) Cats or Dogs?
17) My cooking is: a)inedible, b)passible, c)tasty and nutritious, d)gourmet e)I have never, ever cooked anything.
18) Complete the sentence: People describe my sense of humor as...
19) Would you be willing and able to move in order to follow your spouse's career? (If no, please tear up application effective immediately)
20) Describe the first date you would take me on.
21) Give three personal references, including one by a woman who is not related to you.
22) Do you have a criminal record? Explain.
23) Every man should know either everything or nothing. Which do you know?
24) What are your political views?
25) Essay: Please explain why you wish to date me and why I should choose to date you.

Light on Rain

"River in the rain, sometimes at night you look like a long, wide train, winding your way away somewhere. River, I love you, don't you care?"- Big River, "River in the Rain"

There's something about rainy nights that intrigues me. The light on the rain in the dark makes the air seem to glisten. The glowdrops swirling through the air become a Van Gogh painting moving all around me. Every surface shimmers in the lamplight, as though covered in gold glitter. Puddles of obsidian appear everywhere, glistening when the breeze disturbs their serenity. And when the raindrops pound their surface, they bubble effusively as though unable to contain their emotion, and I'm never sure if it's mirth or rage.

I know this weather inspires me to write, and I suppose it must be the same for many people, because there are tons of pieces of music about this weather, whether drizzle or storms. So, in the spirit of April showers, here are some of my favorites:

"Please Call Me, Baby" - Tom Waits
"Stormy Weather" - Joni Mitchell
"Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" - B.J. Thomas
"Grey Street" - Dave Matthews Band
"River in the Rain" - Big River
"Ain't No Sunshine" - Bill Withers
"Africa" - Toto
"Famous Last Words" - Billy Joel

Neighbor

She always had time and smiles. Not expensive gifts, perhaps, but they were just what I needed. Her smile transformed her whole sun-browned face, crinkling her kind eyes, and she seemed to radiate joy.

I was an awkward, lonely thirteen year old and she was an adult who actually listened. When I was bemoaning a world where no one understood me, she came close, just by opening her door and listening. I spent hours in the dining room with them under the guise of "studying", actually eating popcorn, drinking Sunkist, joking, talking, laughing. We'd take the dog for a walk, smiling at the way his stubby tail wagged and the way he got mud on our pants when he jumped on our legs. I laughed endlessly when we discovered that she couldn't say aluminum. She nodded in understanding when we explained the bullying of junior high. In my loneliest days, I counted her among my friends.

I got older, taller, busier, but she remained my friend. She came to football games, tennis matches, band concerts, and showchoir competitions, supporting not just her son, but all of us. She was small, but her hugs were enormous, enveloping. Her laugh danced through the room, tickling everyone until they giggled along.

She loved horses and dogs. She grew up in my hometown and told stories about her youth there. She cared for people and greeted them with a friendliness that made them feel immediately at ease. She lived the command to love her neighbor. And she taught me to do that, too.

I miss her.

I love this...

At this moment I'm sitting in the student commons at school, and I feel I need to explain how much I love this place. So far this conversation has skipped through: the history of underwear, Bart Simpson's middle name, the current presidential election, Old Testament prophecy, Bret Favre, facial hair, John Wesley, antelope, religion, recessions, urination, and sermon-writing. Anything goes here. We can have serious conversations or we can goof around about almost anything. We gather around tables: people of all ages, races and backgrounds, eating, drinking, talking, studying, doing crossword puzzles, and creating the community I have longed for.

I look around as I sit here and think, "I love these people." These people give me hope for the future of our communities and churches. In 10 years, these people will be the leaders of our churches and non-profit organizations. They'll be transforming lives and spreading the love of Christ in the world. I love it.

In a little over a year, most of us will be leaving. Some of us only have a few months left in this community. I'm going to be very sad to leave this, very sad to see this community disperse into the world beyond. But, as much as I hate to think of us leaving this place, I know that in our departure, we're going out into the world to really make a difference. I believe in this, in these people. As much as I'm frustrated by many things in our church and frightened by the state of our society, these people give me hope. These are people who are passionate about God's word, passionate about bringing the kingdom of God on earth, who have the skills, attitude, and humor to face the problems out there and overcome them. God will work mighty things through these people.

Postcards from the City

I am not from here. I am not from the city, not from the south, not from anywhere like this. So, as a tourist in this strangely familiar place, I write postcards in my head to people far away, people who do not see this place the way I do.

Everyone here wears shades of black and brown and serious. The outfits are always coordinated, but they pretend it's unintentional. It's not. Belts, shoes, accessories, designers, all mismatched to perfection, the epitome of sophistication. Their music is unintelligible: complex sentences set to tones of dulcet discontentment. No harmony is permitted, perhaps because it would be incongruous with the noise filtering in from the street. Minimalist sophisticates, gleaming without warmth.

The skyline glows and shimmers in the twilight. If I squint, I can pretend it is a forest of giant Christmas trees, with lighted branches dancing and winking, flirting with the moon. But when I smooth my features, the lines and rigid shapes return, the trees fade into towers. The buildings stand as stark sentinels, boldly proclaiming modernity and commerce. But they never dance in the breeze.

There's a certain charm to all-night diners. No gourmet here, but heavy sustenance is guaranteed. The late night wait staff is strange, and the customers are even more bizarre. The air is chilled, as though by turning the building into a refrigerator, memories of better days and more acceptable hours could be preserved. But the food is hot, and when everywhere else seems dark and lonely, the flourescent lights of the diner brighten the night.

The city is a perpetual motion machine. There is no lonely silence here. The streets and buildings are always buzzing with action and communication. Interaction never ceases and the air is thick with words and pheromones. The cacophony becomes music, the motion a dance; the city is an all day, all night gala event. Didn't you get an invitation?